I started this blog just as a way of releasing the prisoners in my head, tired of solitary confinement: the thoughts in my head started plotting their escape. At first they seemed pacified with doing their little rendezvous on the pages of my diary. That little sojourn soon prove not enough and so my thoughts, ideas, creative spirit demanded of me that I must give to them complete and utter freedom. And so the repasse offered by the pages of my diary was a mere parole. My thoughts seem to put me at a crossroad- it was either go mad or go public. And so a child was born, a boy/girl, and I christianed it heartstrokes101. P.S the father insisted on his surname: wordpress.com
How often we find ourselves planning our lives. Wanting to be happy and loved. And we sometimes don’t realise that as we pursue these things they pass us by. Live in the present and you will find that a happy life is merely a string of happy moments and that you are loved, so return love, and you will beget more love. Heart peace be unto you who strive to make yourself a better being not forgetting who and what you are now is perfect, not yet complete, but as it should be.
I never understood myself, could never fully comprehend this being that is me. Before I knew what it was I use to call it the cinderella effect, going to bed brilliantly beautiful, waking up desperate to die. A myriad of emotions,some feeling like a mirage in their fleetingness, others stretch out like a desert in it’s vast painfulness. It is turmoil in high def. technicolour. It was then given a name: bipolar- a tag for me to hang it all on to. The reason I would wake from a coma, suicide nr. I don’t know. One thing I have read has stuck in my heart ‘This, too, shall pass.’ you see I barely remember the times I tried to kill myself or why. What once was the end of the world is now a fading memory. In the middle of the storm there seems to be no end in sight and yet we all know that all things must come to an end. Promise me just this that you will always wait for the sun to rise before making decisions on your life.
Blogging has become for me a means of purging my heart and soul. It offers the kind of soul barring amnesty one use to get by opening yourself up to a stranger, someone who you know will never cross your path again. The kind of freedom and wisdom that I thought was at the bottom of a liqueur bottle has now been brought to the fore by blogging and a passion for the written word. This is my journey and nothing would give me greater pleasure than sharing it with you… because I know that I will learn a lot from your comments and advice. And I love you for spending some time with me.
It is not that we can not see into the spirit of another,it is that we can not see beyond our expectation of others. I became involved with someone a few months ago. I think I fell for his smile. I would do anything to see make him smile. He on the other hand seem to prefer to see me cry. You see I loved him so much that i saw my love reflected in his eyes, thinking it was him loving me. The sad truth is that the amount of love you feel, no matter how vast or insignificant, it has no impact on what the other person feel for you. And yet I still run when he calls. Please try to understand… I still see heaven in his smile.